i jhust puked up my retainher.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
