Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
