i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
