Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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