at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
