I hate all girls vehemently.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
