You just made me feel so damn special
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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