you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
