these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
