my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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