is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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