I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
