Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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