we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
