tell your sister to shave her snatch
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
