Nicole vs. Life
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
