Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
