no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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