I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
