I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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