I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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