I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
