Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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