My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
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After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
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Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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