so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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