I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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