My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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