I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
