you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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