; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
