I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
