party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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