Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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