I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
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