i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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