let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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