ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
