Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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