Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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