oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
my shit smells like andre
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
