So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
How does it feel to date your dad?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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