Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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