either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
