but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
false alarm. still invincible.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize