matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
