It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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