I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize