I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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