Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
