singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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