a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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