one two three fourrrrnication!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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