this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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