Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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