don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
