Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
