WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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