just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
