I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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